The human animal is a social creature. The need to belong is inherent in all men and women, young and old. Though some may be able to tolerate loneliness, isolation and solitude greater than others, such an existence is unnatural and unhealthy. Those who claim to prefer isolation to community living have likely developed deep-rooted emotional issues regarding their ability to fit in and connect with others. It is probable that they have constructed these false and irrational beliefs as a form of self-preservation, to protect themselves from a real or perceived fear of rejection rooted deep within their subconscious mind.
As technology continues to expand, each day seems to unveil new and unique ways by which humans can avoid one another. Television, movies, computers, and video games appear to make it remarkably easier and more comfortable for many of us to spend our time alone. And though these mediums may help the average citizen escape feelings of loneliness, isolation, and despair, they in no way fill the actual human need to belong. Today, research tells us that one in four Americans suffer a form of mental illness, and the use of antidepressant pharmaceutical drugs have increased tenfold in the last few years. It doesn't take an expert to make the correlation.
Americans are now spending the vast majority of their time either working, watching television, or shopping for products and services. Less and less quality time is being spent with family and friends. Those that don't have an existing social group, are finding it more and more difficult to find others who share their same values, beliefs, and interests. Unable to satisfy this intrinsic human need to belong, more and more people are trying to fill this gaping whole with mindless entertainment, and endless product and service consumption. And when this is not working well enough, millions of Americans are simply lining up at their local drug store for a pharmaceutical fix.
Our need for human interaction and socialization cannot be replaced, nor can it be ignored. People need people; this is an undeniable fact. However, unless you have found people you really click with at work, at school, or somewhere else, it is simply not an easy task to make new friends in today's busy and impersonal world. Some people may join a community organization, a church or a sporting league, subconsciously propelled by this need to connect with others. Others may seek out and reconnect with long lost friends (example: Facebook). Those that don't manage to connect with others, however, are likely to be lost and forgotten; their silent cries drowned out by the sounds of multimedia speakers.
There is, however, hope. With many amazing advances to social networking software, the Internet has now become an exceptional tool by which to meet and connect with people of similar interests and lifestyles. Social networking sites now enable users to narrow their searches to specific geographical locations, and chat live with local members who share their ideas and concerns. Even more important, it enables them to meet and make plans for off line encounters. Groups are formed, plans are made, and friendships are solidified between persons who would never have otherwise had the opportunity of meeting. For those of you who have been previously unable to find like minded people to connect with, social networking can now bring you together with people from all over your area and beyond. Life is too short to be lonely, and there are far too many people on this planet for anyone to spend their evenings and weekends alone. Perhaps it is still possible to rid the world of loneliness, one online member at a time.
Jack Strawman is the cofounder of numerous websites, including Lonely? Alone? Gotnoplans.com and Free Late Night Dating and Hook Up
